Pre-post Addendum: It has been brought to my attention that I was operating from a faulty data set. I had only seen this hashtag hijacked and misused - it was originally supposed to be men in support of feminism, but I had seen it used as a parody of itself, as women bashing men for even daring to try to have a voice in the conversation.
The spirit has moved me to take to my keyboard again, this time in response to one of the most ludicrous hashtags it has ever been my misfortune to come across. The fact that I've even seen it at all, as a devoted non-user of Twitter, points out just how insidious it is. #AllMenCan.
This seems to be a spinoff of the well-intentioned, but ludicrous #YesAllWomen. Which, in answer, no, not all women have been victimized by men. Yes all human beings have had to deal with jerks from time to time, but this is not a gender war, and if you have ever suggested that you have been "eye raped", please go die in a fire. Having people stare at you creepily is definitely a very uncomfortable feeling, but it is not even on the same scale as being raped. You are personally perpetuating rape culture if you are diminishing rape to being stared at. Playing a victim does not make you brave - bravery is continuing on despite having had something horrific happening to you, with a smile and a can-do attitude. Crying about some guy staring at you is not brave, it is pathetic, and you are making all of us look bad.
But I digress. #Allmencan is incredibly problematic, on every level. So to keep up with the self-appointed Victim Brigade, let me point out the privilege flaws first.
1) It's ableist. Yeah, I'll bet Stephen Hawking does a lot of raping and objectifying. The monster. Every male with a major physical or mental disability is apparently not a man, because he is physically incapable of rape or domestic violence, and that's apparently the hallmark of manhood, as defined, weirdly, by someone claiming the name "feminist".
2) It's homophobic. All those gay men out there raping and abusing women! Oh wait... I guess you could make an argument for objectifying, because it was gay male designers primarily who decided that skeletal boy should be the primary look for female models, but I really doubt any gay man is entertaining thoughts of raping any ladies.
3) It's Calvinistic. Now, I have never heard a modern feminist with a good word to say about the pre-Enlightenment Christian Church, but suddenly all men exist in a state of total depravity? Such total depravity, in fact, that there is apparently nothing but a thin veneer of society, and perhaps physical disability keeping them from raping and murdering every woman they so much as look at. There has been a lot of discussion from men about how they feel diminished by the modern feminist movement, and I honestly don't blame some of them. I wouldn't like being treated like a rabid dog for my sin of being born with the wrong chromosomal set. The only bit of Calvinistic sexual doctrine that has been reversed is that women are no longer temptresses trying to lead sexually depraved men with ideas of noble will into sexual sin and eternal damnation - now it's women are perfect angels and men are little more than baboons.
4) It's self-defeating. Every time someone posts something about self-defense for women, there's a chorus of "Just teach men not to rape!". While both sides have merit (of course teach boys about consent, respect, and entitlement culture... and teach girls about self-defense and hope they never need to use the skill), #Allmencan presupposes that men are creatures without moral judgment. As amoral creatures, not held in check by anything but possibly the fear of jail or the hope of more sex, teaching them not to rape is a complete waste of time, because they can not absorb the lesson.
This is not getting into how sexist it is, or how divisive it is, but I hope that's a good basic rundown of how poisonous that philosophy is. Men and women are equally human beings. The vast majority want equal rights for everyone. But when you shut one half out of the equation by treating them with automatic suspicion, you immediately shut the conversation down. You make the conversation impossible, in fact. The #notallmen is poisonous enough in it's own way, because most men are not trying to reframe the conversation to be about themselves. They are trying to join the conversation in a way they can understand. And if they must go on the defensive, maybe you should consider how you're speaking and whether you're talking about equality or dominance.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Why Anti-Brony Culture?
So, I'm going to say this right out, I heartily enjoy the show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". It has excellent storytelling, fun and fascinating characters, good humor, and is just an enjoyable show to watch. Lauren Faust said she wanted to make a cartoon that parents could enjoy with their daughters, and considering the general range of cartoons aimed at girls tend to be "OMG! Let's go SHOPPING!!!!" or something equally silly, I think that's a noble goal, if even setting the bar pretty low. But she succeeded so well that it crossed over from being a show parents could enjoy with their daughters to being one of those elusive cartoons that captures the 18-30 demographic just as well as the 5-13. Since I grew up in the 90's, it seemed to me to be following in the grand tradition of the Kid's WB! line-up, which was also just as popular among adults. After all, there were some really great shows, for people who weren't close-minded about animation being "just for kids". Fun, fresh cartoon series that everyone in the family can enjoy are great, and even better when it's quality family programming - where the in-jokes for the adults are somewhat obscure, not smutty.
But then I found out about the giant backlash against people who enjoyed this show. The basic argument seems to boil down to "It's creepy", so I decided to rebut each of the "creepy" arguments.
#1 - "It's creepy for men to watch a show for little girls!"
Strange. Was it also creepy for them to watch "Animaniacs", "Freakazoid", "Batman: The Animated Series", "Pinky and the Brain", "Dexter's Laboratory", "Ed, Edd, and Eddy", or "Gargoyles", to name some of the 90's cartoons that did best with the 18-30 male demographic? Is it creepy that they currently watch "Spongebob Squarepants" and "Adventure Time"? How about "Avatar: The Last Airbender"? Now, "Gargoyles", "Batman", "Avatar", and "Samurai Jack" all fit into a class of animated TV shows that are more dramas. They could conceivably be judged on a different scale, but please don't try to tell me that "Spongebob Squarepants" is a more mature work than "Friendship is Magic". Yet people don't really judge grown men for watching it. The only thing I can think of is that the shows I listed all have heavily male casts, male protagonists, and could be considered either "boy's shows" or "unisex shows". "Avatar" has the only truly gender-balanced cast, with male and female protagonists and antagonists being equal. Now, if you have a problem with adults watching animation that is not "The Simpsons" and it's ilk, that's your problem. But if you only have a problem with adults watching animation that features a primarily female cast, maybe examine why you're so bothered?
#2 - "They're all perverts!"
Far be it from me to make excuses for people who do find the ponies sexually appealing. I find that rather peculiar myself and have no wish delve more deeply into it. However, they are the minority in the fandom. The only reason I can think of for this one getting so widespread ties into the basic sexism of the previous article - that the only reason to watch a show with a primarily female cast is if one is sexually attracted to them (or gay, but that's the next item). Well... no. Female characters can be interesting to watch even if they are not sexually appealing. Hopefully very few people went into the theater for "Spirited Away" thinking what a babe Chihiro was... and I doubt many people were slavering over Grandma Sophie in "Howl's Moving Castle". Both are rightfully acknowledged as superior films that feature amazingly developed female characters. There are still reasons to watch female characters who are not sexually appealing, even if there are no sexually appealing characters anywhere else, and even if there are few male characters the male viewing audience can "sympathize" with. Studio Ghibli does not have a patent on compelling female characters that aren't sexy, and if you can't sympathize with a character because they are not your same sex, you are the one with the issue.
#3 - "They're gay!"
Why? Because liking things originally intended for the opposite gender is bad in males? Guess you guys better give up fedoras and trilby hats, then, because both originated as female clothing. Besides "gay" being an idiotic bullying term anyway, why would liking a quality show make you like someone of your same gender? Where's the connection? I'd say that MLP fans, if started young, have a leg-up on male/female relationships, because they are learning to see girls as individual, developed personalities, instead of the alien presences adolescent malehood has traditionally regarded them as.
#4 - "It's so girly!"
Watching a show causes no distinct loss in testicle or penis size, based on any scientific study. As for girly... um... really? In the last 4 seasons, a force of evil has plunged the world into eternal night, the god of chaos has turned the world inside out, a giant bug has sucked most of the life force from the main character's brother, a lost empire has reappeared an nearly been swallowed by the ghost of it's past king, and a forest of thorns has gained sentience and run rampant through the town. There have been homages to "Indiana Jones", "The Big Lebowski","Dr. Who", "Spiderman", "Escape From New York", "Top Gun", "James Bond", "Street Fighter", "Batman", "The Hulk", and "Rocky". Candy-colored ponies notwithstanding, the "girly" excuse is quite flimsy. And silly, because what's wrong with being girly? If it was immature, you may have a point, but it's not.
#5 - "It's just for girls! How could any man watch it?"
This one really hit me when Weird Al announced he was doing a voice on the show. A bunch of fathers complained on his Facebook that now they would have to give in and watch such a stupid, girly show with their little girl. Which.... WHAT!? Way to teach them from the very beginning that you consider what they're interested in lesser and things "for girls" of lower quality and less important. I'm sure my own father was grateful when the generally poor-quality "Little Mermaid" TV show was replaced in his daughter's affection by the much superior "Gargoyles", but he did not complain that he was having to spend time with his little girls, watching something they considered wonderful. Remember, dads, the creators wanted this to be a show you could like too, not just a merchandising zeitgeist of crappy songs and crappier animation. You may like it or you may not, but be glad while your little girl is watching something that idealizes friendship between characters above lying and cheating until you can have sex with the cutest boy in school.
And that's what it really all boils down to. You don't have to like the show or enjoy it or anything. But it is breaking some new ground, by being a "girl's" show that is centered around primarily female friendship, not boys, not shopping, not marriage. Female characters, with disparate personalities (not "I like sports and shopping and boys" "I like art and shopping and boys!" "We're so totally different, but are still friends!"), careers, families, lives... who make time for each other, and for saving the world. Which is fun. And funny. And well-written. View it as a positive step that there is some animation with primarily female protagonists that's good enough to field a wide audience! This hasn't happened since "The Powerpuff Girls"! Why knock someone for enjoying something positive? And really, check just how much of your disdain is really sexism.
But then I found out about the giant backlash against people who enjoyed this show. The basic argument seems to boil down to "It's creepy", so I decided to rebut each of the "creepy" arguments.
#1 - "It's creepy for men to watch a show for little girls!"
Strange. Was it also creepy for them to watch "Animaniacs", "Freakazoid", "Batman: The Animated Series", "Pinky and the Brain", "Dexter's Laboratory", "Ed, Edd, and Eddy", or "Gargoyles", to name some of the 90's cartoons that did best with the 18-30 male demographic? Is it creepy that they currently watch "Spongebob Squarepants" and "Adventure Time"? How about "Avatar: The Last Airbender"? Now, "Gargoyles", "Batman", "Avatar", and "Samurai Jack" all fit into a class of animated TV shows that are more dramas. They could conceivably be judged on a different scale, but please don't try to tell me that "Spongebob Squarepants" is a more mature work than "Friendship is Magic". Yet people don't really judge grown men for watching it. The only thing I can think of is that the shows I listed all have heavily male casts, male protagonists, and could be considered either "boy's shows" or "unisex shows". "Avatar" has the only truly gender-balanced cast, with male and female protagonists and antagonists being equal. Now, if you have a problem with adults watching animation that is not "The Simpsons" and it's ilk, that's your problem. But if you only have a problem with adults watching animation that features a primarily female cast, maybe examine why you're so bothered?
#2 - "They're all perverts!"
Far be it from me to make excuses for people who do find the ponies sexually appealing. I find that rather peculiar myself and have no wish delve more deeply into it. However, they are the minority in the fandom. The only reason I can think of for this one getting so widespread ties into the basic sexism of the previous article - that the only reason to watch a show with a primarily female cast is if one is sexually attracted to them (or gay, but that's the next item). Well... no. Female characters can be interesting to watch even if they are not sexually appealing. Hopefully very few people went into the theater for "Spirited Away" thinking what a babe Chihiro was... and I doubt many people were slavering over Grandma Sophie in "Howl's Moving Castle". Both are rightfully acknowledged as superior films that feature amazingly developed female characters. There are still reasons to watch female characters who are not sexually appealing, even if there are no sexually appealing characters anywhere else, and even if there are few male characters the male viewing audience can "sympathize" with. Studio Ghibli does not have a patent on compelling female characters that aren't sexy, and if you can't sympathize with a character because they are not your same sex, you are the one with the issue.
#3 - "They're gay!"
Why? Because liking things originally intended for the opposite gender is bad in males? Guess you guys better give up fedoras and trilby hats, then, because both originated as female clothing. Besides "gay" being an idiotic bullying term anyway, why would liking a quality show make you like someone of your same gender? Where's the connection? I'd say that MLP fans, if started young, have a leg-up on male/female relationships, because they are learning to see girls as individual, developed personalities, instead of the alien presences adolescent malehood has traditionally regarded them as.
#4 - "It's so girly!"
Watching a show causes no distinct loss in testicle or penis size, based on any scientific study. As for girly... um... really? In the last 4 seasons, a force of evil has plunged the world into eternal night, the god of chaos has turned the world inside out, a giant bug has sucked most of the life force from the main character's brother, a lost empire has reappeared an nearly been swallowed by the ghost of it's past king, and a forest of thorns has gained sentience and run rampant through the town. There have been homages to "Indiana Jones", "The Big Lebowski","Dr. Who", "Spiderman", "Escape From New York", "Top Gun", "James Bond", "Street Fighter", "Batman", "The Hulk", and "Rocky". Candy-colored ponies notwithstanding, the "girly" excuse is quite flimsy. And silly, because what's wrong with being girly? If it was immature, you may have a point, but it's not.
#5 - "It's just for girls! How could any man watch it?"
This one really hit me when Weird Al announced he was doing a voice on the show. A bunch of fathers complained on his Facebook that now they would have to give in and watch such a stupid, girly show with their little girl. Which.... WHAT!? Way to teach them from the very beginning that you consider what they're interested in lesser and things "for girls" of lower quality and less important. I'm sure my own father was grateful when the generally poor-quality "Little Mermaid" TV show was replaced in his daughter's affection by the much superior "Gargoyles", but he did not complain that he was having to spend time with his little girls, watching something they considered wonderful. Remember, dads, the creators wanted this to be a show you could like too, not just a merchandising zeitgeist of crappy songs and crappier animation. You may like it or you may not, but be glad while your little girl is watching something that idealizes friendship between characters above lying and cheating until you can have sex with the cutest boy in school.
And that's what it really all boils down to. You don't have to like the show or enjoy it or anything. But it is breaking some new ground, by being a "girl's" show that is centered around primarily female friendship, not boys, not shopping, not marriage. Female characters, with disparate personalities (not "I like sports and shopping and boys" "I like art and shopping and boys!" "We're so totally different, but are still friends!"), careers, families, lives... who make time for each other, and for saving the world. Which is fun. And funny. And well-written. View it as a positive step that there is some animation with primarily female protagonists that's good enough to field a wide audience! This hasn't happened since "The Powerpuff Girls"! Why knock someone for enjoying something positive? And really, check just how much of your disdain is really sexism.
Wow, it's been awhile. Part 3 of 3: The Sweet Girl
So... life got in the way, but here I am again to demolish the other half of the entitled coin: the Sweet Girl.
Now, let's make one thing perfectly clear. A Sweet Girl is not interested in you. She is interested in her syrupy sweet fantasy of what love is supposed to be. She is in love with love, and human realities are way too icky and cumbersome to deal with. She's the girl the media likes to accuse Disney of having raised, but even Disney throws a few little tangles in now and again to mess up that perfect compatibility of spirit that the Sweet Girl seems so hung up on.
Now, I'm not saying perfect compatibility of spirit does not exist, because I have seen examples of lovers or friends who are in such perfect harmony that they may as well be one person. No coolness, no arguments... but there are still issues. The only difference is, the people with this sort of true compatibility see issues and tackle them as a team. The Lala-land fairytale of the Sweet Girl doesn't even allow for the existence of these issues. It's impossible that who she chooses will prefer a cool bedroom with the fan running when she likes it toasty. It's totally impossible that there will be a night when all the smoke alarm batteries die at 3 AM. No way will the Man of her Dreams constantly unroll his socks before doing the laundry or forget which day the recycling goes out until there are enough empty bottles to build a replica QE2. Because it's often not the big crises, it's tiny little annoyances. In her romance-soaked brain, she can see the two of them handling disapproving parents. They can weather the storms of poverty! Their love will keep them warm when all the world rejects them! But will it keep them warm when she forgets to pay the heating bill?
Besides the romantic images completely forgetting to take the little annoyances of reality into account, there's also the problem that she really expects a psychic communion of love, and if it doesn't exist, she is deeply disturbed. Jokes abound on women expecting men to be mindreaders, but the average woman has learned that the average man can't read her thoughts. However, there's still a message out there that "If he really loved me, he would really know what the problem is", and that gets into the heads of some gullible young girls. If you are unfortunate enough to have caught yourself one of these, try having a long heart-to-heart with her.
Now, let's make one thing perfectly clear. A Sweet Girl is not interested in you. She is interested in her syrupy sweet fantasy of what love is supposed to be. She is in love with love, and human realities are way too icky and cumbersome to deal with. She's the girl the media likes to accuse Disney of having raised, but even Disney throws a few little tangles in now and again to mess up that perfect compatibility of spirit that the Sweet Girl seems so hung up on.
Now, I'm not saying perfect compatibility of spirit does not exist, because I have seen examples of lovers or friends who are in such perfect harmony that they may as well be one person. No coolness, no arguments... but there are still issues. The only difference is, the people with this sort of true compatibility see issues and tackle them as a team. The Lala-land fairytale of the Sweet Girl doesn't even allow for the existence of these issues. It's impossible that who she chooses will prefer a cool bedroom with the fan running when she likes it toasty. It's totally impossible that there will be a night when all the smoke alarm batteries die at 3 AM. No way will the Man of her Dreams constantly unroll his socks before doing the laundry or forget which day the recycling goes out until there are enough empty bottles to build a replica QE2. Because it's often not the big crises, it's tiny little annoyances. In her romance-soaked brain, she can see the two of them handling disapproving parents. They can weather the storms of poverty! Their love will keep them warm when all the world rejects them! But will it keep them warm when she forgets to pay the heating bill?
Besides the romantic images completely forgetting to take the little annoyances of reality into account, there's also the problem that she really expects a psychic communion of love, and if it doesn't exist, she is deeply disturbed. Jokes abound on women expecting men to be mindreaders, but the average woman has learned that the average man can't read her thoughts. However, there's still a message out there that "If he really loved me, he would really know what the problem is", and that gets into the heads of some gullible young girls. If you are unfortunate enough to have caught yourself one of these, try having a long heart-to-heart with her.
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