Pre-post Addendum: It has been brought to my attention that I was operating from a faulty data set. I had only seen this hashtag hijacked and misused - it was originally supposed to be men in support of feminism, but I had seen it used as a parody of itself, as women bashing men for even daring to try to have a voice in the conversation.
The spirit has moved me to take to my keyboard again, this time in response to one of the most ludicrous hashtags it has ever been my misfortune to come across. The fact that I've even seen it at all, as a devoted non-user of Twitter, points out just how insidious it is. #AllMenCan.
This seems to be a spinoff of the well-intentioned, but ludicrous #YesAllWomen. Which, in answer, no, not all women have been victimized by men. Yes all human beings have had to deal with jerks from time to time, but this is not a gender war, and if you have ever suggested that you have been "eye raped", please go die in a fire. Having people stare at you creepily is definitely a very uncomfortable feeling, but it is not even on the same scale as being raped. You are personally perpetuating rape culture if you are diminishing rape to being stared at. Playing a victim does not make you brave - bravery is continuing on despite having had something horrific happening to you, with a smile and a can-do attitude. Crying about some guy staring at you is not brave, it is pathetic, and you are making all of us look bad.
But I digress. #Allmencan is incredibly problematic, on every level. So to keep up with the self-appointed Victim Brigade, let me point out the privilege flaws first.
1) It's ableist. Yeah, I'll bet Stephen Hawking does a lot of raping and objectifying. The monster. Every male with a major physical or mental disability is apparently not a man, because he is physically incapable of rape or domestic violence, and that's apparently the hallmark of manhood, as defined, weirdly, by someone claiming the name "feminist".
2) It's homophobic. All those gay men out there raping and abusing women! Oh wait... I guess you could make an argument for objectifying, because it was gay male designers primarily who decided that skeletal boy should be the primary look for female models, but I really doubt any gay man is entertaining thoughts of raping any ladies.
3) It's Calvinistic. Now, I have never heard a modern feminist with a good word to say about the pre-Enlightenment Christian Church, but suddenly all men exist in a state of total depravity? Such total depravity, in fact, that there is apparently nothing but a thin veneer of society, and perhaps physical disability keeping them from raping and murdering every woman they so much as look at. There has been a lot of discussion from men about how they feel diminished by the modern feminist movement, and I honestly don't blame some of them. I wouldn't like being treated like a rabid dog for my sin of being born with the wrong chromosomal set. The only bit of Calvinistic sexual doctrine that has been reversed is that women are no longer temptresses trying to lead sexually depraved men with ideas of noble will into sexual sin and eternal damnation - now it's women are perfect angels and men are little more than baboons.
4) It's self-defeating. Every time someone posts something about self-defense for women, there's a chorus of "Just teach men not to rape!". While both sides have merit (of course teach boys about consent, respect, and entitlement culture... and teach girls about self-defense and hope they never need to use the skill), #Allmencan presupposes that men are creatures without moral judgment. As amoral creatures, not held in check by anything but possibly the fear of jail or the hope of more sex, teaching them not to rape is a complete waste of time, because they can not absorb the lesson.
This is not getting into how sexist it is, or how divisive it is, but I hope that's a good basic rundown of how poisonous that philosophy is. Men and women are equally human beings. The vast majority want equal rights for everyone. But when you shut one half out of the equation by treating them with automatic suspicion, you immediately shut the conversation down. You make the conversation impossible, in fact. The #notallmen is poisonous enough in it's own way, because most men are not trying to reframe the conversation to be about themselves. They are trying to join the conversation in a way they can understand. And if they must go on the defensive, maybe you should consider how you're speaking and whether you're talking about equality or dominance.
